Four Weeks Ain't Nothing!

It is officially four weeks until show time! At this time in exactly four weeks I will probably be dragging myself out of bed to hopefully nibble something and then head to my hair and make-up appointment.

While I'm still extremely tired 99.99% of the time, I have managed to push myself this week. I haven't missed a single workout or meal. And I don't think I've been too grumpy - or at least didn't show it :) Instead of focusing on how tired I am, here is a list of things that I accomplished this week:

• All workouts done - didn't even quit a single cardio session early when my legs felt like lead and I was shaking (kind of crazy how much I start shaking about 20 minutes into round 2 of cardio!)
• Ignored my extreme cravings for a GIANT bowl of oatmeal with a sliced banana, strawberries and slivered almonds. Who craves that??? Apparently I do!
• Didn't have a single breakdown involving crying, screaming, etc :)
• Discovered Strawberry Energy Crystal Light - I'm trying to limit my fake sugar intake but I desperately needed something yesterday and this did the trick!
• Survived the week without the use of thermogenics to boost my energy - while I am allowed to use these and have an emergency stash in my purse I'm trying not to because the crash can be pretty bad. 
• Managed to sneak in one little 15 minute nap this week - hoping for many more of these this weekend!

Time to head off to work and focus on surviving another week of contest prep!

Five Week Blues

Friday was officially the "five weeks until show time" day. I was warned long ago that the last few weeks are the toughest . . .some say it starts sucking at 12 weeks out, others might say only the last two weeks really suck. I think it all depends on how long and hard one has been dieting and working out. Considering I started my prep a long ways out and have stuck to my workout and diet plan 99.99999% of the time (the only exception was when I was sick and couldn't get out of bed!), I haven't suffered much.

Okay now I'm suffering. I was pretty tired on Friday morning and for the first morning just flat out wanted nothing to do with the treadmill when my alarm went off. I dragged myself down to the basement and got my hour done. It wasn't easy and I was still having a hard time moving to get myself ready for work. I ended up stopping at 7-11 on my way to work and getting a Redline to make it through the day - basically full of caffeine and other energizing garbage minus the calories. Normally I wouldn't have one but it was either that or be completely miserable and dysfunctional the entire day.

I realize that I am the one that decided to do this competition. No one else is forcing me to workout or diet. It's MY choice and MY choice alone so I don't think I should be making others suffer by listening to me whimper and whine about  how miserable I feel now. So I kept my whimpering to myself all day on Friday but since this is my blog I can whine away in here :)

Although there are times in my life that I was miserable and felt like I wanted to die when I had the flu or some other illness, this is a completely different kind of misery. I literally feel like I want to curl up and just sleep all the time. I feel like I'm moving in slow motion most of the time. I don't think I have ever actually been so tired I wanted to cry. I almost lost it during round 2 of cardio yesterday because I was just so tired. And I'm grumpy. Oh so grumpy!

I have to admit that I thought about just quitting at least 5 times this weekend because I have no idea how I can deal with feeling like this for another 5 weeks. I'm not a quitter so I'm just sucking it up and doing what I need to do. Five weeks will fly by (hopefully!) with some good days and some not so good days but I will feel  amazing at the end knowing that I did it.

Time for round two of cardio, finishing up some laundry and then a well deserved nap!